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New York, 3:06 PM
Wed Nov 11
71 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of boring diatribes boring diatribes
    02:01 PM

    In reply to Jon Gosselin Spoofs Himself
    My favorite part was at the end when he stopped talking for an awkward amount of time and I thought this may be a forever thing. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    boring diatribes was starred boring diatribes was unstarred
    Image of BytheSea BytheSea
    03:02 PM

    @boring diatribes: It's like when Colin is in trouble and he stares into the middle distance so if anyone yells at him, they don't feel like they're getting through. (Kate's words.)

    Or maybe all the pot has killed the nerve cells that make facial expressions. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    BytheSea was starred BytheSea was unstarred
    Image of BlondeGoddess BlondeGoddess
    01:51 PM

    In reply to Jon Gosselin Spoofs Himself
    PR Strategy 3,685: Make fun of yourself! People love people who make fun of themselves!

    PR Strategy 3,686 Make fun of Michael Lohan! People hate Michael Lohan!

    PR Strategy 3,687 Still not working? We'll get back to you tomorrow! #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    BlondeGoddess was starred BlondeGoddess was unstarred
    Image of o-line o-line
    12:38 PM

    In reply to Jon Gosselin Spoofs Himself
    Funny or Die... Is that like Cake or Death? Because, sorry Jon, we've run out of cake and that wasn't funny. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    o-line was starred o-line was unstarred
    Image of Triana Orpheus Triana Orpheus
    12:32 PM

    In reply to Jon Gosselin Spoofs Himself
    Now if only he'd remove his name from the headlines, delete himself from America's collective memory and pack up his famewhoring ways. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    Triana Orpheus was starred Triana Orpheus was unstarred
    Image of bibomaco bibomaco
    12:31 PM

    In reply to Jon Gosselin Spoofs Himself
    He totally did this for money. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    hortense promoted this comment bibomaco was starred bibomaco was unstarred
    Image of victoriasauce victoriasauce
    12:31 PM

    In reply to Jon Gosselin Spoofs Himself
    Eh. It would be funny if 8 kids weren't involved. Or maybe if the point weren't, Haha just kidding..I'm staying a douchebag forever.
     Reply
    Edited by victoriasauce at 11/11/09 12:31 PM victoriasauce was starred victoriasauce was unstarred
    Image of EdnasEdibles EdnasEdibles
    12:28 PM

    In reply to Jon Gosselin Spoofs Himself
    Is it possible for him to go even one day without appearing on camera somewhere? #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    EdnasEdibles was starred EdnasEdibles was unstarred
    Image of rd2uk rd2uk
    12:27 PM

    In reply to Jon Gosselin Spoofs Himself
    did i just find something this goon does, funny? f me. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    rd2uk was starred rd2uk was unstarred
    Image of Newsgirl Newsgirl
    12:26 PM

    In reply to Jon Gosselin Spoofs Himself
    I had a dream last night that Jon Gosselin broke into my house and stole all of my pennies. I blame Jezebel for this and all of these hilarious/creepy photos and screen grabs. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    Newsgirl was starred Newsgirl was unstarred
    Image of oh_desy oh_desy
    01:13 PM

    @Newsgirl: I had a dream that John and Kate wanted to renew their vows in my backyard. The ceremony involved trapeze artists dressed like angels carrying them in. My parents were easy-going about the whole thing, and I just kept saying, "but they're horrible people! They can't get remarried in our yard!" I totally knew they were just doing it for the publicity. Also, yes, I blame Jezebel. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    Newsgirl promoted this comment oh_desy was starred oh_desy was unstarred
    Image of kate79 kate79
    01:13 PM

    @Newsgirl: last week I dreamt that Richard Heane (the balloon boy dad) was chasing me through the woods with a shotgun. I totally blame Jezebel for that as well. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    Newsgirl promoted this comment kate79 was starred kate79 was unstarred
    Image of oh_desy oh_desy
    01:14 PM

    @kate79: That sounds terrifying! #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    Newsgirl promoted this comment oh_desy was starred oh_desy was unstarred
    Image of suiterkin suiterkin
    01:22 PM

    @Newsgirl: @oh_desy: Me too! I had a dream a couple of nights ago that Jon showed up at my work, and I was the only one who knew who he was because I spend too much time on Jezebel instead of working. I finger-waggingly shamed him into turning over a new leaf (though, obvs, the point is that I need to shame myself into working more). This video is really freaking me out! #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    Newsgirl promoted this comment suiterkin was starred suiterkin was unstarred
    Image of TryScience TryScience
    01:44 PM

    @Newsgirl: I read "pennies" as "penises". I think murder would be legal in that case. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    Newsgirl promoted this comment TryScience was starred TryScience was unstarred
    Image of Newsgirl Newsgirl
    02:20 PM

    @kate79: That's horrifying! #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    Newsgirl was starred Newsgirl was unstarred
    Image of emfish55 emfish55
    12:23 PM

    In reply to Jon Gosselin Spoofs Himself
    Die. #jongosselinfunnyordie
     Reply
    emfish55 was starred emfish55 was unstarred
    Image of rednrowdy rednrowdy
    12:19 PM

    In reply to Ewan McGregor Tells Craig Ferguson That His Constant Nude Scenes Are "A Feminist Thing"
    if only more male actors did the same... #ewanmcgregor
     Reply
    rednrowdy was starred rednrowdy was unstarred
    Image of midwesternmom midwesternmom
    11:47 AM

    In reply to The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
    OK, I am pitching a TV show right now.
    "I'm Spencer's Sperm Cell's Get Me Out of Him!"
    We get together the whole cast--Janice, Mrs. Blago, that Baldwin brother that noone likes, and the rest, and let them perform challenges to earn the right to snip Spencer with the tool of his choice.
    I have $50 on Spencer's sister to win. She had to deal with him for years, and only she can fully understand the monsters he can sire. #thehillsvasectomy
     Reply
    midwesternmom was starred midwesternmom was unstarred
    Image of boxspelunker boxspelunker
    11:41 AM

    In reply to The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
    Argh! I really want to be sterilized. I am finally, after three years, going to get an appointment to try to talk to a surgeon. I've jumped through all the requisite hoops, I know my shit inside and out, and I know what I'm doing.

    This assclown can just waltz in and try to secure an appointment short of a therapist, a primary care doctor, and the male equivalent of a gynecologist?

    FUCK YOU SPENCER.

    My choices are questioned every goddamn step of the way, with people who think their special insight will change my mind.

    "But what if you want kids later?" (usually followed with some smug truism about children)

    OMG I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. I wanted to be sterilized and NEVER ONCE thought of what if I'm wrong! Thanks, stranger in the waiting room! I'm sure you know much more about my life and circumstances than I do!

    That is just so frustrating. I'm having all sorts of problems and he isn't, so I'm all angry about it. :( How can you go in to demand a medical procedure without knowing what the hell it is? It's permanent, doucheface, and yes, it involves cutting and cauterizing! What the hell did you think it was doing? #thehillsvasectomy
     Reply
    boxspelunker was starred boxspelunker was unstarred
    Image of BeckyIva BeckyIva
    11:52 AM

    @boxspelunker: Well see, what you should have done was just call your OB/GYN in advance and ask for permission to come in with the film crew for your MTV reality show. Ask them to free up some time in the office so that your light crew can light the place, make sure no one else will be in the lobby, and make sure it's ok if you just fax over some release forms for anyone you may encounter while you're there. And there you have it! Wham, bam, tubal ligation, ma'am! #thehillsvasectomy
     Reply
    boxspelunker promoted this comment BeckyIva was starred BeckyIva was unstarred
    Image of BeckyIva BeckyIva
    11:54 AM

    @boxspelunker: Oh, and I should mention, they will probably process your request even more quickly if you give the doctor the opportunity to pimp a big-pharma sponsored product, such as Mirena(TM) IUDs or Essure(TM) tubal implants. #thehillsvasectomy
     Reply
    boxspelunker promoted this comment BeckyIva was starred BeckyIva was unstarred
    Image of boxspelunker boxspelunker
    01:04 PM

    @BeckyIva: Aha! Why didn't I think of that? CLEARLY, I am barking up the wrong tree! Now, to get a reality show...

    Oh yeah, I've had lots of suggestions for the Essure implants, but I am just NOT OKAY with putting shit inside my body and leaving it there - another one of the reasons I don't want an IUD. It will be cut-and-cauterize or nothing, because little metal coils freak me the fuck out, and it's my body, so I will decide if I want shit floating about in there! :D #thehillsvasectomy
     Reply
    boxspelunker was starred boxspelunker was unstarred
    Image of missheidilynn missheidilynn
    11:29 AM

    In reply to The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
    1) I would never date a guy who called me "kiddo"
    2) Who wears a leather jacket with no shirt underneath? At least put on v-neck under that shit!!!
    3) I could probably just watch the "next time on" and be satisfied
     Reply
    hortense promoted this comment Edited by missheidilynn at 11/11/09 11:34 AM missheidilynn was starred missheidilynn was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    11:26 AM

    In reply to The Hills: Spencer's Vasectomy Appointment
    Spencer Pratt is a svelte Glenn Beck.

    Justin Bobby is the poor man's Uncle Jesse.

    If I believed in hell, I think that it would be a lot like that club that they went to. Except you can never leave. You have to dance, dance, dance! with douchebags forever and witness assholes get in arguments with assholes they used to date. #thehillsvasectomy
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
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